For many, fear of public speaking boils down to a fear of what others think of you. It's is essentially a fear of rejection, but in the case of public speaking, the fear of rejection is intensified because you're taking a bigger risk. You're risking rejection in front of a group of people. If things go bad, it feels like they go bad in a very big way.
Here's one truth: if you truly believe in yourself and your message, then it doesn't matter what other people think.
Here's another truth: most people are wrapped up in their own thoughts, fears, and miscellaneous inner chatter, so they're not focused on judging you.
When I first started classroom teaching about 15 year ago, my students raked me over the coals. I was petite, soft-spoken, gentle-natured, and came from an upper middle-class background. I had to replace a popular teacher mid-year at a high school in a "rough" community.
Let's just say the kids weren't happy about my being there, and they gave me a very hard time every day. If I got angry or upset, they laughed at me or tried to intimidate me. My first six months as a teacher were very tough. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, and I seriously considered abandoning my chosen career path. My department head used to hang around in the office adjacent to my room because I think he feared for my physical safety. Let's just put it this way- the metal detectors didn't catch everything.
Somehow, I made it through the year. I didn't call in sick. I faced the same students all day, every day. I still tried to deliver my lessons, I graded their papers and fulfilled my responsibilities. I wouldn't call the experience a positive one, but I made it to the finish line.
I was still new to both martial arts study and teaching. But as I developed my skills over the next couple of years, I saw how I had made things worse for myself during those first six months.
I let myself fall into too many power struggles. I was reactive instead of proactive.
I had no sense of center whatsoever.
So what is this "center" thing I'm talking about? It's a place of inner calm, or mental and emotional balance. Your mind is quiet. Your actions aren't in conflict with your words or thoughts. They're all working in unison. Physically, your center point is an area in your lower abdomen.
Can you tell when you're feeling centered? That's the ideal way to be when you're speaking in public. Remember, if you truly believe in yourself and your message, then it doesn't matter what other people think.
You want to go into a public speaking engagement feeling completely centered. Take a deep breath, do a brief visualization, and focus on your message of service.
Do you stay that way during your entire presentation? Of course not! That's unrealistic. The reality is that we get off-balance or off-center multiple times during a presentation, just as we do during a normal day. Experts simply regain their center faster than others.
When you're public speaking and find that you're losing your calm, take a breath or a sip of water to quiet your mind and get back to a place of center as quickly as you can. (If you're feeling under fire by your audience, please review Tuesday's article.) The more you practice this, the faster you'll recover.
Lily Iatridis of Fearless Delivery, has a proven track record and knows the key elements in effective and engaging presentation. Her expertise is in supporting professionals to get their message expressed clearly to deliver the biggest results in their live and online presentations. Secrets and strategies such as "how-to" shortcuts, personalized instruction and even packaging the presentation are just some of the skill sets that Lily brings to her audience to create a fearless and effective delivery.
If you've ever been nervous in front of an audience, please download Lily's free ebook, "5 Steps to Neutralize Difficult Audience Members– Without A Power Struggle!" In this ebook, Lily shares simple strategies that will put your mind at ease, arm you with useful strategies, and entertain you with some stories of her own bumps along the path to public speaking success.
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