You're not the only one!
The very first memory I have of public speaking, I was six years old. My teacher was calling everybody in the class up one by one to stand up in front of the room in some sort of a box with a hole cut out in it and pretend we were on tv. All I had to do was make some sort of noise. Simply say a single word. Do anything. I just couldn't. I stood there mute, frozen and unable to make a sound. After some cajoling, she gave up and angrily ordered me back to my seat. She thought I was choosing to be uncooperative. Everybody else in the class did very well.
But that wasn't true. I can't remember why I couldn't bring myself to say something like "Scooby Doo!" and make her happy. But I still remember the humiliation to this day.
I've made plenty of mistakes along the way with public speaking. Those I remember are vague memories only. Obviously as a public speaking coach, I've gone on to have many more successes than failures. Yet why on earth do I still remember that so clearly? I can still see the disgusted expression on my teacher's face.
Do you have any memories like that? Or do you pretend not to?
So what do you do with them?
Here's what I try to do: forgive myself!
Are you like me? Are you one of those people who is harsher on herself than she'd ever be toward anyone else around her?
Most of us have the Golden Rule — or some version of it — drummed into our heads. We're supposed to treat others like we'd want to be treated by others.
But here's the problem. Some of us don't treat ourselves nearly as well as we do others. We need to show ourselves the same amount of compassion and forgiveness that we give to other people.
So whether it's around public speaking or some other area of your life, stop beating yourself up about it! Figure out why it happened, remember the lesson learned, make corrections, and move forward.
And don't forget to relax and have a good time while you're at it! (Life is short. Makes fewer wrinkles.)
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