So I was in the backyard of the house we moved into last August, doing a little yardwork for the very first time, while thinking about today's article on public speaking fear. The back of the house is mostly uncleared woods, but there's about a 30 foot area where someone once planted some flowers. We could spot a few stems sprouting, including some forsythia and daffodil blossoms.
But they were all getting smothered by a huge layer of ivy that's overtaken the entire yard! We actually worked for three hours to clear merely a 15 x 15 foot wide overgrown patio area yesterday afternoon. Not only that, but we were pulling ivy down from behind the siding of the house — it was (and probably still is) growing up behind our house's exterior wall.
What if we left the growth of the ivy unchecked? Our house would start to look like that in the picture above. Doesn't the picture appear as if there are even some windows buried completely by the ivy?
Aren't speaking fears — or any fear for that matter — like that too?
They can really creep up on you if you're not careful.
And when they start creeping in on your thinking, it's important not to underestimate them. They're insidious, and they'll undermine your hard earned speaking confidence.
How do you keep those fears from creeping back in and taking over?
Speak in public regularly.
Once you've taken on public speaking, whether it's to advance your reputation, your career, position your expertise in the marketplace, or for your own personal growth, it's important that you get regular practice. This doesn't require preparing and giving an hour long speech every week. Simply go to a networking event every month and deliver your elevator pitch to a dozen or more people. Prepare a video clip to post to your website or on Youtube. Give a teleseminar for your customers. Challenge yourself to maintain your hard earned skills and experience. Don't let the cobwebs come in, because with them creeps in the fear that challenges and can undermine your self-confidence.
Remember your why.
Why did you take up public speaking to begin with? Review your goals. Clarify them if necessary by asking yourself repeatedly why those goals are important to you. If your goals aren't specific enough, make them specific. What is it that you want to achieve? Without a clear idea of why you initially undertook what for many is a terrifying experience feared more than death, there's no reason to start in the first place. Public speaking is a means to an end. Make sure you define yours clearly.
Keep the negative self-talk at bay.
Starting to hear those voices in your head telling you "not to" or "you can't"? Here's an exercise for you to try. Write down everything they're saying to you. Get it all out of your head, onto the paper. Then take a breath, sit back and take an objective look at what you've written. Ask yourself, "Is this all that I am?" The answer should be no. Come on, you know you're more than the sum of your fears. Then ask yourself, "Who am I?" Now write that down, and keep it.
Negative self-talk is a form of resistance and can be incredibly powerful. It hits everyone who moves out of their comfort zone in some way to "reach for the moon" so to speak like a hammer and can be completely paralyzing. Whenever I'm feeling like this, in addition to using the strategies above, I flip through Steven Pressfield's The War of Art to take some comfort in reading about the incredible resistance he faced and overcame in his career. Below is one of his observations on resistance that is especially insightful:
" Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true North — meaning that call or action it most wants to stop us from doing. We can use this. We can use it as a compass. We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others. Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it. "
It's nice to know when you're on the right track, isn't it?
_______________________________
Did you find this article useful? Please take a moment to share your comments below. Thank you!
Lily Iatridis of Fearless Delivery, has a proven track record and knows the key elements in effective and engaging presentation. Her expertise is in supporting professionals to get their message expressed clearly to deliver the biggest results in their live and online presentations. Secrets and strategies such as "how-to" shortcuts, personalized instruction and even packaging the presentation are just some of the skill sets that Lily brings to her audience to create a fearless and effective delivery.
If you've ever been nervous in front of an audience, please sign up for Lily's free 5-part video series titled, "Your Energetic Elevator Pitch Everyone Will Want to Hear!" This free video series will not only help you to get over any nervous jitters about speaking at networking events, but your message will be clear, you will deliver with confidence, and you'll distinguish yourself from your competition effectively.
Related posts:
